Probably each of us knows, at least from stories, the situation when a child at home is active and lively, everywhere he goes, while in the kindergarten he gives the impression of being withdrawn, excessively timid and shy. Sometimes parents even cannot believe the teacher’s stories, claiming that at home the child is completely different. The reasons why a child is very quiet in kindergarten can be many, and it is not always possible to point to one particular one. Nor is it always a cause for concern, although it is good to take a closer look at the child’s behavior in order to effectively help him develop.
My child is quiet in kindergarten – what to do?
It often happens that the child is very quiet, reticent, even withdrawn in the kindergarten, while at home he behaves quite differently – he is lively, likes to play with others, does not close his mouth. Many parents wonder where the reason for such behavior lies. Overly quiet children who usually keep to themselves are said to be withdrawn or socially passive.
Such a child may not want to interact with other children, always keeps to the side, outside the peer group, rejects common activities suggested by the teacher (such as singing songs, reciting rhymes, dancing) and gives the impression that he is happy in his own company. When asked about something, he may not answer at all, pretend not to hear or ignore his surroundings. If this only happens in kindergarten, there is a good chance that the child may be socially passive.
The reason for this passivity is most often fear of the new environment, of rejection by the social group or unwillingness to find themselves in a new place. In the kindergarten everything is new and unfamiliar to the child, there are new rules or principles, new faces, strangers – perhaps this is why the child more willingly chooses to stay at home, because here everything is already familiar to him – the rhythm of the day is established, so the child can allow himself more slack and be more lively, spontaneous.
Why is the child calm, tranquil?
A socially passive child usually does not like teamwork, group activities, also does not like to speak, may be tearful, focused only on his inner life. Such children are usually obedient to adults, following instructions, although they will not ask for help or repetition when they have not understood something. A very quiet child can sometimes give the impression of a person with diminished intellectual potential, which is not true – he simply does not know how to relate, and through his passivity and anxiety does not use his aptitude and often makes mistakes, not being able to concentrate fully on the task.
The cause of a child’s muted or overly sedated state may also be anxiety. Then the child sleeps too little, is overtired and has regular difficulties in staying focused.
Calm child and autism
Many parents wonder whether a quiet child may have autism. Diagnosis of autism has become more common in recent years – this is due to increased awareness among parents and caregivers and increasing access to psychological help. However, autism is a much more complex phenomenon, and simply noticing that a child is muted and withdrawn does not necessarily mean that the child will be diagnosed with it. It is also worth remembering that one visit to a psychiatrist is not enough – autism is diagnosed on the basis of observations of the child’s behavior, questionnaires filled out by parents and additional specialized tests. You should never diagnose a child on your own. The most common symptoms of autism include the child’s repetition of certain behaviors, lack of need for interpersonal contact (making friends, playing together), lack of display of emotions and facial expressions, avoidance of eye contact, food selectivity, and difficulty sleeping. The occurrence of such symptoms may prompt consultation with a specialist.
However, it is a myth that a child with autism is always withdrawn and overly calm. It can be said that how many people with autism, so many symptoms, because some children – on the contrary – can be hyperactive, overly mobile and make violent movements, needing additional sensory stimulation.
Childhood problems include difficulties in establishing relationships, avoidance of contact with peers, excessive crying or anxiety. Effective help for a calm child is based on observation of the child by a qualified psychologist, who can easily detect disorders and make a diagnosis on this basis, and on regular cooperation with the child’s parents. At Butterfly 3 preschool, one of the main goals is to focus on partnering with parents so that the child can develop to his full potential, using his strengths and improving the weaker ones.
Kindergarten Motylek 3 recruits throughout the year, subject to the availability of free places. With new preschoolers in mind, an offer has been introduced adaptation classes in the kindergartenin which the child can participate together with their parents. These classes allow the child to become more familiar with the realities of preschool life and gradually get used to the new reality. Thus, the child is not thrown into deep water, but can become accustomed gradually, which further reduces the sense of fear of the new situation.
A good preschool is not just about child care, preschool additional activities, or active recreation. It is also about helping the child to pass the next developmental stages and achieve age-appropriate goals.
It is not always the calm and tranquil child who has problems or anxiety. Such traits can also result from the child’s character, personality or individual circumstances. In adult life or at work, we also happen to meet shy or introverted people. It is important that such traits do not hinder or even prevent normal functioning. In such a situation, it will be necessary to visit a specialist who will properly guide our child and help him to develop fully. Psychological problems or difficulties can be effectively resolved if they are detected early enough.
