The proper development of a child requires a good relationship with both parents. The relationship with the parents is the first one that the child establishes, and the future of our child depends on it. A good and calm atmosphere in the family home is also very important – then the child is also calm and can explore the world around him. However, it is usually the case that the child may have a better relationship with one of the parents, such as the mother. This happens, among other things, when the other parent spends most of his time at work. The fact that the child prefers to spend time with one parent is not necessarily a cause for concern, although it may be upsetting for the other parent. It is worth knowing what to do in such a situation and how to encourage the child to play with dad and develop a good, healthy relationship with him.
In our country, it is still the mother who most often takes parental leave. Among the reasons for this are the fact that men earn more. The law allows the leave to be divided and taken by the dad as well, which can be an excellent way not only to relieve the mom from household duties, but also to improve the relationship with the newborn child. Moments spent with their little one for every parent are priceless and worth remembering.
Why doesn’t the child like to play with his dad?
There may be many reasons why a child is more likely to choose mom than dad. The development of a young person progresses very quickly, and at different stages it can also manifest itself in the fact that the child will be more willing to choose mom than dad for a while, and after some time – the other way around. This is because he wants to explore his surroundings and such a reaction will be nothing alarming.
Perhaps dad works all day and the child is simply used to having mom do most of the chores such as feeding, bathing and changing. In such a situation, the best solution would be for both parents to share household chores.
It’s the same with play – perhaps the child always chooses mom because she is the one he plays with on a daily basis. Then a simple message pops up in the child’s head: “dad doesn’t know how to play” because he has never done it. It’s completely understandable that the child doesn’t want to stay with dad and regularly chooses mom. It’s important to nurture the relationship with the child by making time for him every day, even if it were just a few minutes of playing together or a simple activity such as feeding or changing a diaper.
The same happens when the child does not want to fall asleep with dad – perhaps it is mom who reads him a story before bedtime every day, kisses him at bedtime, and the child has already become accustomed to just such a routine. Dad can encourage the child by saying, for example: “daddy also wants to read/tell you a bedtime story”, and if even the child is not too happy with such an idea at first, with time he will get used to it and convince himself that daddy also “can” read stories, and who knows – maybe he even does it better than mommy.
Spending time together – games and new hobbies
Older children can be encouraged to play with dad by developing their passions or learning about completely new things. Perhaps our child likes to tinker or build structures with blocks, collects toy cars and, in addition to toys, would like to see dad tinker in real life? He can help dad or watch what he does. This is not only great fun, but also a great idea to discover new things. It’s important for dad to watch his child carefully and also be open to his needs or ideas. You don’t have to force your child to do anything, but you can suggest new activities and discover new passions together. Maybe one of them will turn out to be a hit and will allow children to spend more time just with dad?
It can also be a good idea to take the child on an outing with just dad – a “manly” outing with the son to the lake or park, or a trip with the daughter to the playground, an amusement park or to have pizza or ice cream together. Such experiences for the toddler are extremely important, helping to strengthen the relationship and see that dad also knows how to play and spend time with the child in an interesting way.
A dad you can always count on
When the child prefers to spend time with mom, it can be an unpleasant experience for dad. It’s natural to ask yourself if something is being done wrong or why the child doesn’t like dad. However, it’s important to remember that the child doesn’t want to do us a disservice, perhaps the child is just more connected to mom precisely because dad doesn’t spend time with him regularly or is less often present in the child’s life. For a child, parents are just as important, even if he prefers to spend time with one of them. Spending time together and gradually developing a relationship will ensure that dad can also become a favorite parent.
One of the most important principles Kindergarten Motylek 3 is close cooperation with the parents of preschoolers. Parents can participate in adaptation classes organized by the institution for new students, and are also encouraged to cooperate with the teaching staff and psychologist. All this makes it possible for children to further strengthen their relationship with their parents, become accustomed to the kindergarten and their new peer group, while parents will be more reassured about their child. Through regular contact with the teacher or psychologist, they can also get to know their own child better. In our kindergarten attention to relationships and the good development of each child, according to his needs and predispositions is a fundamental element of preschool education.
For a child there are no more important people than parents, and the relationship with them cannot be replaced by anything else. Periodically, it may happen that the child is more likely to choose mom than dad, because she just spends more time with her, mom can spoil more or allow more, and therefore the child just likes the relationship with her more. Usually the preference for one parent is a natural developmental stage and is not a cause for concern. The other parent (in this case, dad) should not panic or get angry, because the child is not doing it on purpose. When a child does not want contact with his father, it is worth considering the reasons for this behavior and using proven ways to improve the relationship so that the child is just as happy to spend time with dad. In turn, in justified cases, it is possible to use the help of a psychologist.
